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Duck Commander, Tomatoes and the Supreme Court


Today we stand at the intersection of common sense and the courts. And the view is a little bizarre.

Now that the Supreme Court has mucked up many of our personal freedoms the court has moved on to what we consume.

UnknownFirst there’s the whole tomato thing. Though technically fruit, tomatoes fall under the category of “vegetable,” according to the Supreme Court.

The opinion of the court read: Botanically speaking, tomatoes are the fruit of a vine, just as are cucumbers, squashes, beans, and peas. But in the common language of the people, whether sellers or consumers of provisions, all these are vegetables which are grown in kitchen gardens, and which, whether eaten cooked or raw, are, like potatoes, carrots, parsnips, turnips, beets, cauliflower, cabbage, celery, and lettuce, usually served at dinner in, with, or after the soup, fish, or meats which constitute the principal part of the repast, and not, like fruits generally, as dessert.

In this case I agree with court. I’ve been on board with this designation ever since my hero Ronald Reagan defined ketchup as a vegetable in school lunches.

Then we move on to wine.Screen shot 2013-12-30 at 6.26.04 PM

Now the Duck Commander, maker of duck calls and the basis of the hit ‘reality’ TV series Duck Dynasty, is being sued by a high-end Napa winery. Duckhorn Wine Company claims in a lawsuit its expensive, ultra-premium wine brand — which goes to nearly $100 a bottle, is being diluted by Duck Commander’s cheap, Walmart line of vino which goes for $9.99.

Oddly enough Duckhorn believes consumers may be confused by the presence of the image of a duck on the labels. I look at the two labels and I see Cabela’s on the left and Orvis on the right. Little confusion there.

And here’s what really cranked off Duckhorn, which sold its wine years before Duck Commander. The D.C. blends cheapen the brand, with names like Triple Threat Red Blend, Wood Duck Chardonnay and Miss Priss Pink Moscato!

At any rate I just hope this suit doesn’t make it all the way to the Supreme Court. You never know how they might interpret the old saying…if it looks like a duck it’s a duck.

Anyone else ready for 2013 to be done?

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